Feeling good feels good.

It's impossible to not feel slightly more good after listening
to this.  Walk down the street playing this in your earbuds
and tell me you don't smile.  Impossible!

It's funny how life has its ebbs and flows.  This is nothing new, but somehow it seems like an epiphany over and over again.  When you're in the thick of it, some part of you is very logical and aware that it will most certainly pass, but another part of you just can't see past it.  It's hard to remember how to get back to feeling good again.

Once I got the hang of tracking my food, eating healthier and exercising regularly, it got to be second nature. It seemed so easy.  It was the norm.  It wasn't a challenge.  It was my way of life.  It was all so simple and so good.  

I forgot how easy it can be for that to not be the norm.

After a summer and an autumn of struggle, things are finally getting back to normal.  Being the person of extremes that I am, I expected to just start back up and rule the world as I remembered doing before.  But, therein lies the problem!  I had to break my mindset of trying to get back to where was.

I

am

not

THERE anymore!  That was then.  This is now.  Move along.

A lot has changed since then.  But, things have settled down and I'm in a better place in every way now.  I love it when you finally feel something break, something give way, and you know that you're on the right path again.  Well, it's not even that you're on the correct path again - you're at a great pace and making some serious headway towards whatever intersection, bend, bridge or whatever might be on the way.

I met up with a friend last Sunday who is a dietitian.  The initial plan was to talk about food, get some good ideas for new ways of eating, and new things to eat.  It ended up being a great conversation about where I'm at in life in general and what I've got to do to progress.  

It was a healthy dose of divine intervention.  Even though the things we talked about are things I already knew, it sometimes takes the right person at the right time saying something they didn't even know they needed to that hits you, breaks you down, builds you up, and propels you all at once.

I keep forgetting that life is a process.  Things don't magically find a perfect groove forever.  You may have a good stretch, but you'll have rough ones, too.  And they will come and go, and then come and go again.  

I'm finally starting to get it.  

I don't have to do it all at once!  There are so many things I need to do, both at work, and for myself.  But I've been working on a few things at a time.  This week, my goal was to go grocery shopping and return to my regular eating and exercise habits, remembering that even if I only get a half hour of something in, it is better than nothing.  I've also tried starting my days with 10-15 minutes of some kind of exercise.  One morning, I did a 10 minute Pilates video.  Another morning, I did a bunch of core exercises.  I've overcome my urge to buy peanut butter, because if that's in my house, well - it's over.  

I've also done necessary but boring things like scheduling appointments with doctors and insurance agents, rethinking my spending habits and reworking my budget, getting organized, and figuring out a regular schedule of exercise.  I just might start going to bed earlier, too.  

You've heard me say this before, and I will say it over and over again.

It is amazing what happens when you make calculated, boring, conscious choices to simply do things.  

I'm learning that feeling good and being content is not as simple as "feeling" good.  Right now, I've got a lot to work on.  But feeling good is a choice, and it's choosing to make good decisions that will lead to a life of good, not a season of good.  

It's a new kind of goodness, but nonetheless, it feels good to feel good once again.

Restart - Take 2

I just got hit by a rogue shell.
Fire power gone...
No worries!  There's a box with a question mark.
It better not be a coin...  I need a "big."  Right.  Now.
Great!
Wait...
NO.  No.
PAUSE!
Okay...  I can be little Mario and try to finish the level, orrrrrr...

Annnnnd I'm dead.

Meh.  Restart...

If only starting over were as simple as smacking a button on the top of my brother's Super Nintendo system...  So many times I'd get to a point where I'd try the same level over and over, and in a fit of frustration, "SMACK!!!!!"  Reset.  Do over.  Restart.  "Stupid moving pipey things with fireballs coming at me and a wizard that just keeps appearing...  OVER IT."

I said I'd start over in my last blog.  I did, for a couple days.  Then blew it...  Then I did again for a couple of days!  And then I blew it for a few days...  I'm not sure what my problem is, but I am all out of sorts lately!  It seems like every few months, I've got to sit down and hash out a game plan.  Get organized.  Get back on a schedule.  Plan out my eating.  Clean my abyss of a bedroom.  Oh, Lordy - here we go...

Step 1 
Pre-planning my food again as usual.  As I mentioned before, a key to my progress has been making sure that I have good food available to me, things that are quick and easy to grab, and often planning out what I'm going to eat for the whole day either that morning, or the night before.  I haven't been buying groceries as thoughtfully as I used to. I've got to be honest with myself.  For whatever reason lately, I've had a very difficult time sticking to my guns and I have to make sure there is nothing in my cupboard that will allow me to splurge thoughtlessly.  Usually, I've got it down. I've got control.  I don't have as much control lately, and I've got to keep things away from me that will tempt me to do the wrong thing.  It's about to get real.

Step 2
The bedroom!  They say messy house messy mind, yeah? This is true.  I'm a bit of a discombobulated thingamabob right now trying to sort out quite a few aspects of life. When I get frazzled, I let my room get uber-frazzled.  It is time for a top-to-bottom clean of my room, and a purging of the wardrobe.  Anything that doesn't fit must go.  What will I do with all of those clothes?  I will have a garage sale at my parents' - date TBD.  I've got a lot of great stuff in very gently/never used condition.  I'll keep you all posted.

Step 3
I love flying by the seat of my pants.  But, I've got to have structure.  I need to get to bed earlier, get up early and work out, and make the most of my day.  Structure may seem restrictive, but oh no, no, no, it is not.  Structure allows you to get done what must be done in a timely fashion so you can do more with the time you have left over.  I spend too much time trying to figure out what I'm going to do and how, easily distracted by - well, I'm easily distracted period, and end up spending too much time on random minutiae instead of just getting to it.  I'm a list-maker extraordinaire.  I will tackle lists like nobody's business, but if it doesn't make the list...  Bad news, bears.  I've got to give myself guidelines, timelines, lists, and things of the like or else it all goes to pot.  I'm better at this at work than I am with my personal responsibilities, and this is a change of the most critically imperative nature.

Now, if only I had a Yoshi I could ride around - everything would be sorted.  How? I don't know, but I've always wanted to ride a dinosaur with a shell on its back that can reach things from long distances with its tongue.  Haven't you?!