Trapped indoors

The weekend was a disaster on all fronts, the weather was persistent in blowing gale force winds up north then the rain and snow all day yesterday.  Needless to say I never made it over the fields with the dogs.

I can't believe that 2 years ago today my mam passed away, the time just seems to go by so quickly in one respect but slow in another.  It seems longer than 2 years since I last saw her but it doesn't seem like 2 years since her funeral.  I was going to go to the cemetery today but the weather has knocked that fully on the head.  I am sure if she is watching from above she will understand.  But in my mind my mam isn't there, she is in the places I go, home, work with the dogs. 
 

After Thursday's aromatherapy, which for the first time in ages I fell asleep on the couch, I felt totally relaxed so when going to bed I thought I would have one of those wonderful uninterrupted sleeps.  Instead I visited the bathroom at least 4 times before 3 am and then I couldn't keep warm, I again felt like my breath just wasn't getting into my lungs.  This cold during the night can really set our breathing erratic.  I woke hubby as I crept next to his body to get warm, which then caused him to find it hard to sleep again.  I wonder why this happens?

 

I have noticed that since dropping the morphine by 20mg per day I haven't had any other pain so am deciding on dropping it again, less morphine helps the liver produce less bile.  My pains haven't been as bad, a couple of heavy chest pains but I am sure that is the hernia problem rather than the meso problem, after all I am stable and will remain so for as long as my body can hold back this rotten cancer, in my mind that has to be a couple of years.  I read about people who have had maybe one or two treatments to combat mesothelioma over a period of 4 or 5 years, whereas I have had far too many and not enough remission in between, therefore I have told my body that this time remission will last for years and it had better not let me down.

 

In the USA a couple of gatherings are happening which bring together specialists from all over their country to help find a cure and discuss trials that are taking place.  In the UK we have one meso care day and one action day.  We don't have full on access to specialists who are willing to talk one to one, maybe Mesothelioma UK could incorporate something like that into the Carers Day in October.  But more so it would be great if we had specialist centres for Meso up and down the country. 

 

All this carry on over shutting childrens heart surgery down around the country is ridiculous, why should families have to travel more than a 50 mile radius to get the best of care.  I thought in this day and age things were improving but it seems the health service is sliding backwards.  They say it is better to have more facilities at one hospital than have two smaller units, I say they should think about the families and travelling to such facilitis, especially baby units.

 

For those without Kindle and who would be interested in reading my book and helping charity please have patience, I am looking at getting it printed to sell on the blog and hopefully Chris will also sell them on her site.  I am still in shock that hubby wants me to write a proper book on my journey with meso, not just the short pieces I put on my website.  This may be hard because I would then be writing all the emotion we went through, the struggles of being alone back in 04 without the help we have today and of course, opening up old wounds that we put behind us.  You see I march forwards and try not to look back as much.  I guess I will see how I feel and who knows may put words to screen (not pen to paper). 

 

It was wonderful news to hear Steve has had further reduction and is now stable, he managed the full course of his chemo and I hear the champagne went down well.  I hope if you are on or having treatment right now you will benefit from the same results.

 

I am hoping that Nancy will do another article for me shortly, it will be on lawyers and their role in helping mesothelioma victims receive claims and how to stay away from ambulance chasers. 

 

On that note, have a good week and stay well.

Update on Blogs

Once again I have had a quick interview posted on a blog, it's nice when you get invited to do something like this, people who don't have an insight into living with mesothelioma can read about someone who is going through it.  If you want to read it you can find it Here.  I know that I have given free reign to quite a few guest articles and I believe they bring something different to our everyday blogs.

For those who don't blog but want to let others know about the events that have happened while living with mesothelioma Linda Reinstein is putting together a book, together with sharing your stories on line at ADAO.

Speaking of Books, my book cover finally came, the artist David Byrne, (No not that David Byrne!)has done a wonderful job at creating the images and his pencil drawing of our Bear is fabulous.  Funny how I've used our Bear as a central character, hubby told me that I wasn't allowed to make him a bad guy, would I!  So today, with the help of another friend of Liz's, the book should be up on Amazon.  I truly hope it sells a few, more so because part of the proceeds will be going to Mick Knighton MRF then hopefully a big chunk of it if the book sells.  I would like to have a few printed so that I can feel the achievement in my hand.  Writing a fiction and bringing the plots together isn't as easy as I thought so never again will I criticise when writers forget something that was important in that chapter but never mention it again.

 

The sun is actually shining this morning and although I promised my brother I would go into work this morning I think I will instead be taking the dogs with hubby over the fields.  A bit of bonding time required as they only see me at the moment as the treat lady.  Every night I get the paws and the looks so I will either give them a rodeo or a shape or bonio, my knees are all marked from their claws. 

 

So a busy day ahead better get by body into the shower and get those dogs out, trying to follow the instructions on Amazon regarding formatting lost me off so I guess a clear mind will be required for this afternoon.

 

To all the warriors out there at the moment battling health issue's I hope they are resolved quickly and those on chemo, my fingers are crossed and prayers are with you.